Why God made Mums

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions!!

Why did God make mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where the sticky tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring
3. God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother & not some other Mum?
1. We’re related
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s mums like me.

What kind of little girl was your mum?
1. My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff.
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mum need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mum marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mum eats a lot. 2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mum didn’t have her thinking cap on.

Who’s the boss at your house?
1. Mum doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a clot. 2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between mums & dads?
1. Mums work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work. 2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.
4. Mums have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mum do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don’t do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mum perfect?
1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mum, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
2. I’d make my Mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

WHEN YOU STOP LAUGHING SEND IT ON TO OTHER MOTHERS, FUTURE MOTHERS, OR JUST WOMEN IN GENERAL!!

Today has not been a great day. My pain level today would probably be a 7 on the scale of 1 to 10. 1 being no pain at all and 10 being the “someone knock me out before I commit hara kiri” end of the scale.

This is the second time today that I have managed to get down to the study but I won’t be able to sit here long.

I’m very fortunate to have an understanding hubby and good kids when it comes to this kind of thing. Hubby ran some errands for me before he left for work (TJ’s glasses need repairing again) and the kids managed to cook tea without killing each other or burning themselves. We had a picnic tea on my bed seeing as how I couldn’t sit at the dining table with them. We also had mini pizza’s instead of sausages, but the menu plan has got to be flexible right? lol (I’d actually forgotten that I had them in the freezer……. kids have memories like elephants when it comes to the location of junk food) They even managed to stack and start the dishwasher before going to bed the little angels.

At times I feel guilty for not always being physically capable of being the kind of mum that I think I should be or that I think they deserve to have. But then I remember that when I’m too sore to be running around they all take great delight in having a captive audience. For the privilege of being waited on hand and foot I am made a very interesting assortment of foodstuffs (inch thick cheese slices on toast, or weetbix with very little milk and way too much sugar for example). I also get to hear every single mind boggling thought that pops into my dear daughter’s pre pubescent brain, get assaulted by the “can we have a…(insert appropriate junk food item here)…..” terrorist repeatedly because he knows I can’t chase him away and am serenaded by an vast assortment of hubby’s bodily noises that are apparently meant to be amusing but often result in me begging for a gas mask.

I am very blessed indeed.

The little phone spree this morning continued through the day with K the sleaze bag getting on the phone to A while she was at work and informing her that they are not coming to her wedding and that she’s “bought it on herself” by associating with us. A is VERY relieved to say the least. Rings me up tonight quite happy & bubbly and tells me that I HAVE to come to her hen’s night on Friday! lol

I am so damn frustrated! I’m talking rip the head off the next person to ring with my teeth and hacking their bodies with the axe frustrated. I do not take kindly to be woken by the phone, let alone being woken by the phone to someone ranting and raving at me on the other end!

A couple of days ago hubby’s step dad K the sleaze bag ran A and asked her what was going on with the wedding – meaning who was walking her down the aisle. She told him that nothing had changed and that he should know by now what was happening as she’d told him enough times. Then he says to her “I suppose R and B (hubby & me) are going to be there?” They are just not taking either her or hubby seriously about us being there and hubby walking her down the aisle.

Hubby bumped into his youngest sister K yesterday and had a bit of a go at her. He told her that she had no right getting their mum to ring us up the night before she started a job expecting a place to live when they had had nothing to do with us for months and months prior. He also told her to tell her dad that yes we would be at the wedding and that he would be walking A down the aisle.He didn’t raise his voice, but he was pretty firm, she was a bit upset, but stayed there talking to us for a few minutes afterwards. She did make a comment about not being sure about coming to the wedding if there was going to be crap to which I told her that the only way there would be crap would be if K the sleazebag started it. We thought that was that. Hubby felt pretty good about having said his piece and thought that was the end of the matter.

This morning he gets a phone call from his older brother W asking him what he’s doing threatening their little sister and telling people not to come to the wedding. Hubby gets all flustered (he’s a very non confrontational person) mouths off saying a heap of stuff he shouldn’t, then rings me and rants at me about it and is talking about not going to his sister’s wedding. I ring his brother and sort of smooth things over and explained that he didn’t threaten K and what our side of things is with their mum (which he understood cos he has had similar problems) but boy its a mess!

I can’t wait for this wedding to be over!!!!

I could very well kill someone by the end of the week. Do you reckon I’d be able to plead self defence? After all I’d be defending my peace of mind!

Following on from detoxifying yesterday……….. why can I not detoxify our families? Honestly, I am beginning to think that hubby and I are the only sane ones (well ok, maybe his sister too but thats all)

Hubby’s sister A is getting married on Sunday. Hubby is walking her down the aisle since her father (hubby’s step dad) said that he wouldn’t do it. Now of course they keep ringing her and asking whats happening as if she will all of a sudden change all the arrangements that she made. He now wants to do it and for some reason doesn’t even think that we’all should be at the wedding let alone involved in it! Then tonight we were talking to hubby’s Nan C who a couple of weeks ago was so excited about the wedding only to find out that they are moving this weekend and had forgotten all about the wedding. It was bad enough that they showed up to my wedding late and in their yard clothes. I am so glad that they are not my parents and that this isn’t my wedding!

Of course the only reason that they aren’t ringing here bitching is that hubby did partially declutter them……… when we moved he refused to tell them where we moved to and changed our phone number as well lol.

The things we have to do to get some peace!!

I was having a bad morning today mobility wise so instead of going visiting we invited some people over. Then we kept them. lol Well, we invited them to stay for tea, but they never actually made a decision so we made it for them. Talking somethings over with them this evening I realised that it wasn’t just our old house that stopped us from hosting as much as we would have enjoyed it was also some of the toxic relationships that surrounded us.

Around the same time as we moved (3 months ago) we also had some major upheavals in our circle of friendships and I have to say that it has been bliss!! More and more I’m seeing just exactly how manipulative, deceitful and harmful some of those friendships were and how they were negatively impacting on us and the way we interacted with the rest of our social circle. Moving was a fresh start all round it would seem, in home, in friendships and in the long run, in my spirit.