PSLS got invited out by his sister last night who had been invited out by their brother who had come over for the night and wanted to introduce his new girlfriend.
All was good until he and the sis in law got to the pub and his bro wouldn’t introduce said g/f, spoke to him for a few minutes and then the bro and sis spent the rest of the evening pissing off on him making him feel like the proverbial third wheel.
So, PSLS dumped them and came home. He was pissed off that his brother didn’t deem him important enough to warrant an introduction and barely had anything to say to him. He was gobsmacked at his sister’s ‘ultimate party girl’ persona who was only interested in drinking, dancing and drinking some more and just all round hurt that he’d been reminded once again of his place in their family.
Doormat.
But not even the nice doormat you put at the front door for visitors to walk all over.
He’s the scruffy back doormat that they all rub their dirty boots on.
I’ve got to say that I’ve never seen him this shitty with them before though.
He even *gasp* turned off his phone so he wasn’t contactable this morning.
I understand that he’d like to have a somewhat normal relationship with some of his blood family. I really do get that. But I wish he’d hurry up and realise that sometimes the family that you make for yourself is all the family you actually need so that he’ll stop being hurt everytime they breeze in and out of our lives with their bullshit.
Took me a long time to realise that the family I made for myself was stronger than the family blood had given me. I feel for PSLS.
Perhaps you could find a way to tactfully remind him of this behaviour the next time they invite him and he desperately wants to go and be included. Some families just aren’t worth the trouble….
Some ppl are real slow learners, like me. He’ll just have to his his boiling point or point of no return and he’ll write them off once and for all.
Family- GAH! Can be so frustrating and dramatic – it’s so nice when you can finally let that go. I wish him luck letting go.
oh no!! Can’t do that otherwise I’m the one with the problem and don’t want him to have a relationship with them. I learnt a long time ago to keep my mouth firmly shut.
Though I did ask him why he kept hoping things would change last night. It’s not like any of them are kids anymore, this is who they are.
Hugs for PSLS. And you. I know how hard it is to live with the hope that maybe, just maybe a sibling will change. Unfortunately, from my experience they don’t.
You just lay down the rules from your side of the fence next time he wants to go gallivanting after them, B – remind him of how he dumped you at home and dumped his crappy feelings on you afterwards. You do have a say in this – you tell him you’re not prepared to be the doormat he’s happy to make himself into and will not wear his rot if he insists on chasing after relationships that don’t exist except in his wishful thinking.