Stricter.
Posted by Mistress B in Family, Miss Lou, Parenting, Relationships, tags: Parenting, teensCJ confidentially says to me tonight that her and Miss Lou have been talking and Lou thinks that I’m much stricter now after the ‘long weekend with the boys’.
Well duh!
Considering the level of silliness. Considering that 15 year old boys were interested in my 12 year old who they thought was 14. Considering that on the same weekend my girlfriend who owned one of the girls and one of the boys had her home broken into by yet another stupid teen who stole cd’s and tried to steal her booze and that ALL the stupid teens were in and out of that house at one time or another over the weekend with only two of them having permission to be there - one to pick up stuff she’s forgotten and one to feed their animals ………..
Damn straight I’m going to be stricter!
Though to be fair, I think she’s still recovering from the shock of finding out exactly what the rules are going to be.
Like no boyfriends till she’s 16, and then only if we have met them, approved them, know their parent’s name, their address and their contact phone numbers. Only group dates, strict curfews, no more than an hour on phone or internet on school nights, no visits on school nights and no meeting boys in lanes or parks or anywhere else. Hanging out is to be done at home with no boys in bedrooms and no closed doors to any room while boys are in the house (except for the bathroom).
Oh and I retain the right to embarress her by telling childhood stories or displaying baby photos at random to keep her on her toes.
She is also in the tough process of learning that when mum says be home at 5:20 she means that you are inside OUR HOUSE by 5:20 not just about leaving your friend’s house.
And then there is the realisation that mum has parental controls on the computer and isn’t afraid to use them.
But I also explained to her that it is my job to set boundaries for her while she learns and matures until she is able to set them for herself because I love her and want her to be safe and it’s what responsible parents do.
She was telling one of the boys at school about her mum’s rules and they suggested that she not tell me if she had a boyfriend. I reminded her of my super ninja psychic powers.
I also told her how one of her aunts had commented to me a few weeks back about how much effort they could see her making to be responsible and truthful.
That really tickled her and personally I think my rules have taken the pressure off. She hasn’t talked about boys near as much the past few weeks.
Stricter?
I’m think she’s lovin’ it!
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you have very good reasons to be stricter …trust me I have a 16yr old boy.
His friends came to our house 6 months ago when we were away for long weekend.
We had arranged for him to stay at a friends house. Known the mother & step dad through school/soccer /scouts even at one time for 10 yrs.
The same WTF mother who knew we weren’t home let them come home (son was coming home to feed dog) and then stay overnight , they messed the house up (nothing serious) drank beer & ? left beer in freezer which exploded everywhere broken glass.DS said he nad nothing to do with beer.
When we found out and DS put something on myspace the same stupid WTF mother rings my DH and says what was problem “boys will be boys …no damage done hey”
I must make some rules for my DS and his girlfriend …he is so not happy I ring her mother now to have a little chat about them and the plans they cook up.
Trish’s last blog post..Almost Wordless Wednesday Happy 3rd Birthday
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PS my son hates the parental controls and time limits - he goes ape “poo” about it all the time. LOL .Me I am loving it that I have some control over the stuff he shouldn’t be googling or watching - it would make your eyes pop.
Trish’s last blog post..Almost Wordless Wednesday Happy 3rd Birthday
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Our kids love that we are strict because we’re basically showing them how much we love and care for them, how far we’re prepared to go to protect them and they’re able to relax somewhat knowing that if they’re uncomfortable in a situation they won’t lose face when they refuse to participate and blame their strict parents.
Kids who break the law and end up in court are the ones who have been waiting for their parents to set boundaries and social rules since they were born but haven’t.
Our kids are going to be so much happier.
Jayne’s last blog post..99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 gottles of gear….*hic*
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Mistress B (258 comments.) Reply:
July 2nd, 2009 at 11:40 am
The other thing I haven’t told her about but will when she starts going out to more places is that she can ring and ask to be picked up no matter when/where no questions asked.
I want her to know that if she does make a bad judgement or does get herself into a situation that she’s not sure how to handle that she has an out that isn’t going to land her in hot water.
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Gads, it’s so hard to be a good parent! Half the time they hate you and the rest of the time they either think you’re dumber than dirt or they give you that sweet I-love-you-Mommy face and you go all mushy inside and want to do anything to make that feeling last for more then 3 seconds.
Good on you! She’ll thank you someday…. probably when you’re too old and senile to know what the heck she’s talking about but hey…
Trisha’s last blog post..my new love
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You ROCK Woman!!! Too many parents want to be their kids friends these days. It’s crap!!!
My cousins daughter wasn’t allowed to have a boyfriend until she finished year 12 and her son is 21 and still not allowed to have a girl in his room. They know if they dont like it they can move out. My cousin is VERY strict but her kids know no different and geez are they good kids.
I dont know what gets into some parents heads. My friends 16 year old daughter left home in the middle of the night to go live with her boyfriend and his mother.
I asked her what the boys mother thought about it and she hadn’t even heard from the woman!..W.T.F????
Who in their right mind would let a young girl move into their house and make NO effort to contact the girls Mother.
I’m scared as hell to see our next generation as adults. It’s not going to be pretty.
I’m heading for the hills!
SHELLY’s last blog post..WHAT? MICHAEL JACKSON DIED?… how come no fucker told me?
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I’m glad you’ve set rules and are enforcing them. Kids need these even more these days than when we were young, because of all the extra risks involved with internet predators and such. There’s so much more to guard against than the teenagers own crazy hormones and them believing they’re invincible. Lou may complain a lot now and again, but I bet she’s secretly happy to have such firm boundaries. Well done, you.
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Strict is good, particularly in this day and age.
I don’t envy anyone with teenagers these days. It was so much easier when mine were that age compared to now.
You’re doing a fabulous job B, and they will thank you for it one day, they just don’t know it yet…
anonymum’s last blog post..Chicken and coke wings
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That is great
I think it can make a huge difference to know the rules and she has an out if there is an uncomfortable situation - the rules give her a good escape route.
Also speculate that after being semi neglected by her Dad these strict rules show you have a much higher level of involvement in her life and also care for her.
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