As a result of some research and our meeting with the school principal last week we have a starting point.

Yes, Lou is being pulled out of school. That’s a given.

The question then was “What is her best option?”

We don’t believe that  putting her in another school when we are planning a move is a good idea – she wouldn’t even be settled in before having to pull up stakes and doing it all over again somewhere else.

The question then becomes “What is her best option for learning at home?”

We have basically have three options here -

Firstly I could just home school her as I am doing for CJ. I have no problem doing that, but when she’s approaching year 11, and given that we are still finding out feet with this, I’m a little under-confident in my  ability to prepare her for year 11.

Secondly, we can apply for her to study through a distance education secondary school or through OTEN. This could be a good option for providing her with the curriculum content that she needs and saving me from more programming.

Thirdly we can have her transferred to the local TAFE. Study there is flexible delivery – a combination of assignments, distance ed and face to face learning. She’d only be required to attend the TAFE campus for 1 1/2 days per week and do the rest of her work at home, but she’d need to do further work to prepare for year 11 and would probably not be ready to start it next year. It does however, give her the flexibility to join in with CJ for things like jewellery making classes, and gives her time to pursue her own learning interests.

Our preference is to enrol her through OTEN to complete year 10. It has the options for doing preparatory units for year 11 and will offer her the most flexibility. We also think that the adult learning system might play more to her strenghts and help increase her confidence.

The only hiccup is that we have to have a form giving permission for her to leave her current school because of the new laws that made the school leaving age 17. The principal hasn’t had to do one before so doesn’t know anything about them. He also doesn’t understand the difference between regular TAFE and OTEN which is causing some delays and misunderstandings in trying to get the process started.

We do know however, that the local TAFE is more than happy to take Lou. She has already had an interview and assessment with them. The department head has offered her a place in their course starting next term, explained to us the problems we are likely to encounter trying to get her enrolled with the changes to the system and who to speak to about getting past them.

So now we just wait for the school/TAFE/OTEN to sort it all out. Hopefully it will all be right for her to start one of the alternatives first thing next term.

A groovy new sewing box

Making a gift for a friend

Stitching funny faces

is what the secondary coordinator of Lou’s school told me yesterday evening after I told her I wanted to pull Lou out of her school.

A small group of girls set her up at school by letting Lou think she was joining in their mucking around when the whole time they were laughing at her. Then, from comments made on facebook, it would seem that they secretly videotaped her with one of their mobile phones and one of them suggested posting it to youtube.

Lou is devestated.

I am furious.

The coordinator swears black and blue that she’ll deal with it, and doesn’t want me to pull Lou out of school. She thinks it would be unwise, that there are lots of things coming up that Lou would really benefit from, that all her teachers say she’s going really well, that we shouldn’t let them win.

We shouldn’t let them win.

How many times does she have to cop this kind of shit before we can say enough is enough?

The school and all her teachers know that Lou has an anxiety disorder and is on medication for it. They all know she still regularly sees a psychologist. Hell, the psychologist was working with the school to help set up management strategies for use at school. She may be coping a lot better in the classroom, but they aren’t seeing what happens in the playground.

I realise that Lou doesn’t always understand when other people are genuinely joking with her but on the flip side, she doesn’t always understand when other people are not joking with her, but joking at her expense… and sometimes you just can’t explain that you don’t think what she has taken as joking with her was other’s taking the piss or setting her up for their own amusement.

Being very literal and trusting doesn’t help either. She takes people at their word so often doesn’t see when they are being facetious, duplicitous, or are just plain lying to cover their arses or insulting behaviours.

A few weeks ago when she was miserable and in pain from her broken elbow the boys poked at her, threw leaves on her and put banana skins in her hair for their own amusement until she lost the plot then tried to say they were “just trying to cheer her up”. *shakes head* She came home not only miserable from pain, but angry, teary and stressed after being told that she needed to address her pain issues when she complained.

A banana skin in her hair? Really? That wouldn’t cheer me up.

We shouldn’t let them win.

Well my faith in the school’s ability to deal with the situation is shot given that we have still not heard of any resolution to our written complaints made at the end of last term. These kids have already won because they keep getting away with their behaviour without any real consequences.

We explained to the principal at the beginning of the term that we were increasingly concerned about Lou’s ability to keep taking this crap and felt that the time for pussy footing around the issues was long past. They had kept fobbing off taking any definitive action by saying that they didn’t want the fall out to come back on Lou and make things worse for her… we told them that we felt things couldn’t get any worse from Lou’s perspective and still, no action of any actual consequence has been taken so far as we are aware.

We shouldn’t let them win.

At what cost? The barrage of thinly veiled insults, exclusionary tactics and jokes at her expense have a price – her mental health. How many more tears does she have to cry? How many more days of feeling insecure, unsure, ignored, undermined, insignificant and  useless does she have to have so that “they don’t win”?

She is picked at for the way she looks, for her wild hair, for the unusual accent she places on some words, for trying to join in, for not trying to join in, for reading, for sitting with them, for not sitting with them,  for speaking up, for staying silent, for having psychologist appointments, for not being at school after breaking her elbow… She can’t win. She has nothing to gain from staying in a competition that she can’t win. And when did it become a competition anyway?

We shouldn’t let them win.

At what point do we get to wave the white flag if not now? My girl is already defeated. Do we have to wait until she is also again in crisis? Until she is once again so worn down that she is also depressed and convinced that she and everyone else would be better off if she was dead?

I don’t think that my child’s mental health and this school are compatible. I know my child’s mental health and her school peers are not. I do not believe that pulling her out of this school is letting “them win”. These kids are not going to learn anything by my leaving Lou in school apart from new and more creative ways to torment her, and the cost to her is not one that I’m willing to pay.

Just because I couldn’t be arsed yesterday.

So this week I’m thinking …..

Tuesday – Chicken with fried rice

Wednesday – Rissoles and vegies

Thursday – Pasta bake

Friday – Crumbed fish and wedges

Saturday – Roast chooken and vegies

Sunday – Sausages, mash and vegies

Monday – Chicken and Corn soup

Also CJ wants to have a go at making a large tart of some description too.

Go see Laura for more menu planning ideas this week.

And also we need a bit of a moving plan… I needs to get everyone’s arses into gear or this move just ain’t gonna happen.

*Update hub’s resume

* Sign hub’s up for all the employment services I can find that are available to people not on the dole

* Research costs/needs for transferring car rego, licenses etc

* Find out if we’ll need to swap electricity and gas companies

* Find out costs for animal registration and relevant by laws

* Buy two plastic storage crates

* Declutter my wardrobe

* decrapify the bathroom

* make list of things am hoping to buy from hub’s current work at staff cost before we leave

And I guess while we are going…. major items on the homeschooling agenda this week are

* designing and making a cushion for CJ’s friend’s birthday

* making a bracelet in jewellery making

* doing background research on China as part of our ‘Chinese Cinderella module for English

* Start of new science and maths modules

* continue with current HSIE module and AMEB music exam prep work

And I’ll suppose there’ll be some uni crap in there somewhere for me to do too.

Oh and don’t forget that you can get a $10 Menulog voucher here too.