The hills in the distance that is.

Now you don’t.

That’s how thick the smoke has been that has drifted up our way. Visibility all over the area was down to around 1km yesterday.

It was so surreal. To look out over the town was like looking out on a cold and foggy morning. Only it’s not winter and it wasn’t cold.

I’m involved with community education in our local zone and we’ve been pushing the “Leave Early or Stay and Defend” message whenever we could over the past six months.

We’ve sat down with people and started working out protection plans for their properties. If they were going we told them what to take and where to go and suggested things that they  might not consider in an emergency situation. If they were staying to defend we told them where to have water, where to clear area’s, what to do as a fire front approaches, what to do after it has passed.

We explained about ember attack and how most houses are lost to ember attack, usually after the fire front has passed and that they are reasonably safe in their homes if they have put in the preparation and get back outside as soon as they can to put out any hot spots near their homes and make sure that embers haven’t gotten into any gaps.

The other day………….god that sounds like a fairy tale opening. So not appropriate for this nightmare.

The day that Victoria exploded with fires, we girls were all emailing, as we do and Jayne was telling us about her friend who was tossing up between staying in her home or evacuating.

I rattled off a few things, as you do, as I’ve been trained to do, and didn’t think much more of it till later in the day.

Thankfully the friend got out. Thankfully she and her family are ok.

But so many aren’t.

Whether they had a plan or not.

Even the people with plans, with good plans, who were prepared were caught out. They didn’t have time, there was no warning, the fire was too intense for property protection measures by home owners to make much if any difference.

It makes me sick to my stomach to think about how many have died.

It also makes my heart ache to think of the firefighters who helped some of the people who died to make plans, who were active in educating their communities and the blame they will put on their own shoulders.

I hope they can remember that at an average fire the advice and plans would have worked. That those people would have been ok……………

It’s just that there is nothing average about the conditions or the resulting fires that have ravaged Victoria over the past few days and that was completely out of their control.

Early last year I became anaemic.  I was so run down that I would HAVE TO nap three sometimes four times a day. If I didn’t  I would often get to a point where I would drop off to sleep no matter where or what I was doing simply because my body had really had enough and needed to shut down for a bit. (The most dramatic example of this was my kitchen fire last year.) If I tried to do something “normal” like working in the school canteen or going to do a big grocery shop, I would literally need to sleep for most of the next day or two (sometimes three). As it progressed I gradually cut all of my activities, prayer group, bible study, sewing group, brigade, helping at the kids school, swimming, gym, church. I didn’t have the energy for any of them. Just leaving the house to sit at someone else’s house for a couple of hours was incredibly taxing.

And people didn’t understand. I mean I looked OK. I was taking vitamin supplements wasn’t I? And I didn’t understand. I was taking supplements damn it!

Then the doctors decided that I should have a hysterectomy. Six to eight weeks for initial recovery they tell me, six to twelve months for full recovery. I’m at 9 weeks. My recovery from the op was easy. Not much pain or discomfort. I was very lucky. I thought to myself “Six to eight weeks. That will put me as being back on track by the time school starts back and I’ll be able to jump back into things where I had to leave off 8 months ago.”

I am so stupid. I’m still tired. And while I might be mostly recovered from the immediate effects of my operation, I’m not recovered from everything that led up to it. The busyness of the past few days with back to school routine has knocked me on my ever widening arse!  Just getting up with the kids in the mornings, keeping a very basic household routine through the day (no heavy cleaning involved) and getting everyone’s reading/music practice/books covered/lunches made at night is exhausting me.

I realised while I was reading Naomi’s blog the other night that I had some really unrealistic expectations of myself. I thought that having had my op and having been on supplements for six months that I should be OK by now. I didn’t take into account that the problem causing the anaemia started 19 months ago,  wasn’t solved until  late November and that the supplements had been a mere stop gap to prevent it getting worse, not make it better,  so even though I’ve been taking the supplements for so long, it’s only in the past few days that I can tell that my levels are starting to return to normal.

How do I know?

My pee has turned yellow. (Weren’t expecting that answer were you?) That really bright fluro yellow that your pee goes when your vitamin supplements aren’t all being used up and are flushing through your body. The whole time that I have been taking these supplements, this is the first time that has happened.

I really need to remember that it took me nineteen months to get that sick, so I need to give myself more than two months to get better. So instead of vainly trying to jump back into my busy old life, I’m now going to continue to take things easy. I’m going to sit down with my family and explain that ‘mum isn’t quite ready to be normal again’ (and they’ll say “were you ever normal?”) and re divvy up the household chores. I’m going to slowly add activities back into my week, one at a time, over the next twelve months starting with helping at the school canteen once a month (late this month). I’m going to think about my choices of where I put my time and energy and cut completely the things that I find draining………….. I’m thinking that this time NEXT year is a much more realistic time frame for feeling like I should have everything all back together again.

As if being invaded my giant red cockroaches and numerous spiders of all colours, sizes and descriptions wasn’t enough to completely creep this creepy crawley phobic blogger out, now we have a mouse hiding behind the stove.

It’s only been here since they put the new floor down in the kitchen last week.  Doesn’t my new floor look pretty? And my new benchtop, and appliances? Remember my the great kitchen fire of 07?  hmmm……… wonder if the floor guys left the mouse here?

The mouse must like the new stove and while I’m not happy about having a rodent live in it, at least it’s getting some use. I hate the damn thing. It has the grill inside the main oven with the knobs above the door (as you can see). You are apparently meant to leave the oven door closed to use the grill and everything from the grill tray, the door, the handle to the knobs gets hot. When you open the door to check what you are cooking you get that rush of hot vapours just like using the main oven. My kids like to help to cook but I can’t let my kids use this. They would get burnt. Stupidest bloody idea I’ve ever seen in a kitchen if you ask me.

Makes a good mouse house though………… now where is that damn cat?………..

Yeah, I know its Sunday, but I didn’t get a chance to post this yesterday…… lol

 First off

On Monday some people trying to stir crap just made themselves look like d**kheads and that made me smile

On Tuesday work started in earnest on repairing my kitchen and that made me smile

On Wednesday our Christmas Lights Tour was a great success and that made me smile

On Thursday I rearranged our brigade Christmas party so I didn’t have to cater and that really made me smile

On Friday my kitchen was finished except the floor and that made me smile, but I was really really smiling when my hubby was home by tea time after hardly seeing him all week

On Saturday I was laughing all the way when we went Christmas shopping and managed to go to four different stores, park near the front door of each one, were straight through the check outs without a line up and home in only one and a half hours!

And today…….. I got to surprise my Lou by showing up unexpectedly while she was on a shopping trip with her Granma. She’s nearly as tall as me now………. sigh

For more Smiley Saturday moments or to join in the Smiley Saturday fun, head on over to Lightening Online.

I’m just waiting on them to finish off the grout, seal up the sink and install my new stove. They’ll do the floor after Christmas, but I’m not worried about that. It only had a couple of tiny scorch marks on it anyhow.

They are doing a great job and the young apprentice who is doing most of the work is a very nice young man, but I just want all these people out of my house so I can finish getting organised for Christmas!!

That’ll learn me to burn down the kitchen! lol

No I’m not talking about going to the loo or having a shower without an audience. I’m talking about just living my day to day life.

Can a mother get any privacy in which to stuff up, make mistakes, have accidents and be stupid without it being splashed all over town?

Apparently not.

I have had members of not one but two churches and half the school praying for my fast recovery from my cancer scare last year, my hysterectomy this year and various other ailments. (Not that I don’t appreciate the prayers cos I really do).

I’ve had people at the school that I only know to say hello to ask me about our move or wish me happy birthday.

And I’ve had virtual strangers ask me about stuff that just gobsmacked me.

My son (God love him) loves to pray and his class has prayer time every morning (the kids go to a catholic school). He prays about anything and everything that pops into his ever loving little head. Obviously he is a little too young yet to realise that mum might be embarrassed to have so many little people praying for the health of her cervix or other womanly bits and pieces. And of course from there things zip around the school and then the parish at light speed. It’s faster than taking out on ad in the school newsletter or parish bulletin!

And lets not forget show and tell……… today he took in part of the broken grill from our car that I picked up off the road after we hit the frickin roo the other day. Sigh.  I’m sure that he would have taken some of the burnt debris from the fire the other week in too had he been able fit it in his bag.

He’s just this year learnt some modesty and stopped with the nuddie runs all over the house. Hopefully soon he’ll learn the concept of privacy too so I can stuff up, make mistakes, have accidents and be stupid without being also being embarrassed because every man and his dog knows about it!

Thought I should update my avid circle of readers on the results of hubby’s forray into appliance purchasing earlier.

When I could no longer bear the wait, I rang him. And just in time too. He was looking at a $50 toaster. Who on earth pays $50 for a toaster when you can get one for $12 from Coles? Apparently my hubby.

**shakes head**

So having nipped that in the bud, I told him to find the damn microwaves and describe them to me. He started with a smallish 17L one at $99 and went up the row. We ended up settling on a 25L Sanyo stainless steel microwave for $149 (reduced from $160 thanks to hubby’s eagle eye and a price tag mix up), a $12 toaster from Cole’s and THANKFULLY when it arrived home the microwave was as user friendly as my old one. Mummy is quite pleased.

The kids immediately bustled into the kitchen to make toast and heat up a freezer meal for lunch! lol

I will never let him leave me at home again to go buy appliances. It was just far too stressful! I don’t care if my guts are hanging out on the floor and I have to drag myself across the asphalt by my fingernails to follow him, I AM NOT BEING LEFT AT HOME AT APPLIANCE BUYING TIME AGAIN!

Thank God for mobile phones!!

My hubby is, as we speak, down the street buying a new microwave.

Yes. I have allowed him out to forage for groceries and fetch a replacement appliance without supervision!

I’m scared as hell!

I’m seriously hoping he brings back something in the “doesn’t-require-a-degree-in-rocket-science-to-use” type range.

Don’t get me wrong. My hubby is not a complete imbecile. He just doesn’t think the same way I do. He’ll be fine with the groceries (for the most part), but the appliance? He probably will be thinking more about brand, size and how they look instead of brand, size and ease of use.

Take this morning, for instance…………. he tried to ring his sister. Her mobile phone was disconnected. He tried her home phone. It too was disconnected. So then he decides that “something” must be very wrong.

Me, I just presume that their ongoing saga with Telstra has led to them not paying their bill and switching over services, something she would tell him when she next popped round for coffee.

Do you see what I mean by thinking differently?

So you can imagine my terror at the idea of him choosing my appliances for me then?

No not in flames.

Just up.

As in erected.

In our living room.

Did I mention that I’m talking about the Christmas tree?

TJ loves the tree. This one is quite piddly compared to what we’ve had in years past, but it will do for this year. We’ll get a nice sumptuous one after chrissy when Target discounts them all. lol

TJ has also put together a little 60cm tree that I picked up for $5 after last Christmas. It came complete with lights, tinsel and decorations. It will go on the dining table when we finish cleaning the kitchen/dining room.

If we ever finish cleaning the kitchen/dining room. Sigh.